RITES OF PASSAGE

BIRTH

After birth, the mother and baby then undergoes a period of confinement called dalam hari for 44 days.

During this period, the mother undergoes a special diet and massage programme to restore her to her pre-natal state. Often, she consumes traditional herbs called jamu and wears a tight swath of cloth to slim her down.

She would normally spend that period at her parents' house so that someone can look after her and her baby. Her mother would cook nutritious food that will help her regain her strength. A female masseuse will be engaged to keep her extended tummy trim . After the massage, a long piece of cloth will be wound around her abdomen so as not to let the muscles sag. The baby is often not allowed out after dusk. It is believed that there are lots of evil spirits around after twilight that might reside in his/her body. Female circumcision, and nowadays male too, may be performed soon after birth.

- BERANAK -

BIRTH AND DELIVERY OF A CHILD

The customary practices connected with childbirth and delivery may be classified into six different stages beginning from the completion of the seventh month of pregnancy. They are:

f. The Ceremonial feast
   (kenduri) upon the
   completion of the
   taboo period.

a. Kirim perut

b. Delivery from Allah
(new born baby)

c. Naming and Shaving
the baby.

d. The period of
confinement

e. Bathing the mother
on the completion of
the taboo period.

The term lenggang perut (rocking the abdomen) or more commonly known as kirim perut denotes the ceremonies carried out for a prospective motheron her 7th month of pregenancy.
A qualified midwife ( bidan) ascertains the completion of the 7 month period after which she is then officially engaged (ditempah) to perform the forthcoming delivery of the baby.

The materials to be made ready for the lenggang perut are prepared. These are:

a) Seven sarung, preferably of seven different colours.

b) One gantang of rice.

c) One ripe coconut without its husk.

d) Some raw cotton yarn.

e) One stick of resin or gum (damar).

f) Candles.

g) A sirih-box or tray to contain the ingredients.

h) A small amount of RM 1.25 as fees for services rendered.

i) Some coconut oil or some other oil suitable for massage.

KIRIM PERUT

(a)

(b)

(c)

(d)

(e)

(f)

(g)

(i)

When these items are prepared, the bidan begins the lenggang perut. . The seven lengths of sarung are first laid out one on top of the other on a mattress and the pregnant wife lies down on them. The midwife then slowly massages the woman’s abdomen with the oil from below the chest downwards for a while. Following this the bidan takes the peeled coconut and placing it on the abdomen, lets it slowly roll down on to the floor. The position at which the coconut stops is noted. If it stops with its “eyes” pointing upward indications are that the child will be a boy, and if the eyes point downwards then the child will be a girl. This is the traditional belief.

The actual lenggang perut now takes place. The bidan grasps the two ends of the topmost sarung from the pile of seven on which the mother-to-be lies, and then lifts the sarung a little and with it, the woman’s body, gently rocking the sarung from side to side once or twice, following which she pulls the sarung out from under the body of the mother-to-be. It is this rocking act that gives the lenggang perut ceremony its name. In similar manner the remaining six lengths of sarung are rocked and removed. The last of these will, following the completion if the ceremony, be given to the bidan, together with the other items already listed above.

On the day of the lenggang perut ceremony a small feast (kenduri) is customarily held either before or upon the completion of the lenggang perut. To this ceremony close relatives and friends, in particular the women are invited. A lebai or an imam may be invited to say the prayers (doa selamat).

NAMING AND SHAVING THE BABY
THE

THE NAMING (AQIQAH)

The naming ceremony is an order of Allah. After the seventh day the birth of a child, Muslim parents often host the aqiqah, or welcoming celebration, at their home or a community center. The aqiqah is an optional event designed to celebrate the child's birth and welcome him or her to the community.

In order to provide a community meal, the family slaughters one or two sheep or goats. One third of the meat is given away to the poor, and the rest is served in a large community meal with relatives, friends, and neighbors.

The aqiqah is the Islamic alternative to the baby shower, which in many cultures is held before the child's birth.

THE SHAVING (TASMIYAH)

The shaving ceremony essentially consists of two acts: the shaving of the hair from the head of a newborn baby, and the sacrifice of an animal (these were also characteristic features of Millat-u-Ibrahim, the religion of the Prophet Ibrahim).

The hair on the child's head is shaven and its weight in silver is given as charity. An animal is then sacrificed as a mark of celebration and distributed amongst friends, family, the poor and a portion is kept for ones own consumption.

THE PERIOD OF CONFINEMENT
THE

CIRCUMCISION

- BERSUNAT -

The circumcision ceremony for a boy is an elaborate event where relatives and villagers are invited to share the occasion. This follows the Islamic tradition that dates back to Judaic days. Circumcisions are performed on boys between the ages of seven and twelve. Traditionally, and still in the villages, the circumcision is performed with a knife on a banana tree trunk by a mudim, a person who specializes in performing circumcision ceremonies. Unlike the traditional method, circumcisions in cities are now performed by physicians in hospitals, and the ceremonies are not as elaborate as those of traditional circumcisions. During the period of his recovery (about a week), he has to walk around in a sarong.

Female circumcision, on the other hand, is more quiet. In fact, circumcision is done soon after birth and most girls don't even remember the event.

The boy is waiting for his turn for circumcision

MARRIAGE

In the villages, a wedding is usually a two-day affair: the first day of celebration is held at the bride's home, and the following day, at the groom's house. Friends, relatives, and villagers normally help with the preparation. In the bersanding ceremony, which is open to the public, the bridal couple sit on a raised dais (pelamin) . Parents and relative scatter scented leaves and flower petals (bunga rampai) onto the open palms of the bride and groom, signifying blessings. A similar feast and ceremony is repeated at the groom's house on the second day. The affluent in Malay society hold weddings in hotels or large community halls.

Marriage is perhaps the biggest event in a Malay person's life. Although close family friends still arrange marriages, the couple involved must give their full consent. Men are expected to be married by the age of twenty-five to twenty-eight, while women are usually a few years younger.

Marriage in Malays can classified into 4 major part :

1. Propose Marriage (Meminang)

2. Wedding Gift (Hantaran)

3. Wedding Venue (Tempat Kenduri)

4. Wedding Process (Akad Nikah)

- PERKAHWINAN -

PROPOSE MARRIAGE (MEMINANG)

Once the agreement is achieved by both the families, the representative of the man's family who is chosen from among the elders would have been sent by their parents to represent their man to propose marriage

Usually, parents of the bride will not give a definitive answer to the engagement as is customary, they should be given a period to provide answers or called delay.

After expiry of the period given, usually 2 days, there is also up to a week, the girls will be sending a delegation which was attended by elders who represent their party to give an answer. once the answer received, at the meeting they will talk about all the conditions regarding dowry and dowry expenses weddings. Date for wedding also will be decide at that moment.

WEDDING GIFT (HANTARAN)

Hantaran means the practice of exchanging the Wedding Gifts as a part of the Malay wedding culture. This is necessary in the engagement and wedding ceremony between the party of bride and groom. Most often the exchange of “Hantaran” is initiated by the Groom and is presented to the Bride’s house. Then the bride will present the respective wedding gifts to the Groom side.

The value of wedding gifts is not fixed though depends on the budget agreed between the families from both parties. The quantity of items should be in odd numbers. In return, the bride needs to prepare 2 additional items on top of what the family received from the groom’s side. This is a traditional practice that has been passed down since generations

WEDDING VENUE (TEMPAT KENDURI)

WEDDING PROCESS (AKAD NIKAH)

Akad Nikah is ceremony that is essentially required by islam and the law of the country to make the marriage halal.
In this ceremony is where the tok kadi (religious officer) ensures that both the parties are willingly getting married to each other and he will give a briefing of the rights and responsibilities of both the groom and his bride. Apart from the couple, there would need to be 2 official witnesses at this ceremony, one from each side. After done with all the wedding process and sign the wedding contract, bersanding process will start and whole family is celebrating the joy of the wedding.

FUNERAL

- PENGEBUMIAN -

Muslims commonly believe that the good deeds one does in life will yield entry into Paradise on the Day of Judgment, also called the Last Day, when the world will be destroyed. Many Muslims believe that until the Last Day the dead will remain in their tombs, and those heading for Paradise will experience peace while those heading for Hell will experience suffering.

When a Muslim is approaching death, family members and very close friends should be present. They should offer the dying person hope and kindness, and encourage the dying person to say the “shahada,” confirming that there is no God but Allah. As soon as death has occurred, those present should say, “Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi raji'un” (“Verily we belong to Allah, and truly to Him shall we return”). Those present should close the deceased’s eyes and lower jaw, and cover the body with a clean sheet. They should also make “dua’” (supplication) to Allah to forgive the sins of the deceased.

WHEN DEATH IS IMMINENT

According to Islamic law (“shariah”), the body should be buried as soon as possible from the time of death, which means that funeral planning and preparations begin immediately. A local Islamic community organization should be contacted as soon as possible, and they will begin to help make arrangements for the funeral service and burial, assist the family in identifying an appropriate funeral home, and coordinate with the funeral home.

WHEN TO HOLD A MUSLIM FUNERAL

WHEN DEATH IS IMMINENT

Before the funeral, the body has to be washed and prepared. After they have carefully washed the body, they will cover it with the kafan, which is the white cloth.

Then at funeral, the family members and friends will pray for the body and hope that it find a good place in the next world. Muslims prefer to have body buried without a coffin, but sometimes there is an exceptional. They do also not encourage tombstones or markings. Muslim believe that people should pray for the dead and remember Allah’s mercy. Also when the body is buried, whether it be in a coffin or not, it must be facing towards Mecca.

DELIVERY OF THE BABY
THE

Traditionally before the birth of the child, kampung Malays would hang a bunch of pandanus (mengkuang) leaves directly under that part of the house where the delivery is to take place, and where the new mother would sleep during the her taboo period following the birth of her child. This was due to a widely held belief that
the mengkuang leaves were said to have the power to prevent the evil spirit from reaching the place where the delivery of the child is to take place.

Similarly a cross was also marked at the centre of the child’s forehead between the eyebrows, with a mixture of oil and charcoal. In both instances, the markings were done following the utterance of certain charms by the bidan or by a bomoh (traditional medicine man), with the intention of chasing away evil spirits and negatjve influences. In traditional rural villages these rituals continue to be practiced to this day.

The mengkuang leaves were said to have the power to prevent the evil spirit from reaching the place where the delivery of the child is to take place.